Matt turned 26 yesterday, on the 27th of September, 2008. He intends to spend his latter twenties writing, just as he did in his early twenties. The schedule is as follows:
At 27, he will have run out of any and all humor for a time. Matt will be writing dirges and odes to things that always have been and forever will be devoid of life. This will be called his “blue period”, though ironically, he will not use the color blue or the word blue in anything he writes.
At 28, he will have found his sense of humor again; however, he will write nothing but slapstick. His readers will roll their eyes, but they will not be able to help appreciating the lightened mood. After all, this will be the first time in over a year he will have produced fiction in which all his characters do not die.
At 29, Matt will slide ever-so-subtly into political drama. He won’t know what’s happening until he begins to receive modest critical acclaim in the genre. At this point, he will realize this is his forte and he will venture to write a political drama on purpose. It will be epic, and it will be awful. He will be well through this phase before 30.
At 30, Matt will be doing heavily experimental work. You will not understand it. You will find him unrelentingly pretentious, but he will earnestly believe he is producing the most humble, down-to-earth work of his life. He’ll snap out of it, but no promises he’ll write anything accessible until he is 40, at which point his genius child will completely steal his thunder by inventing something indispensable to the world at large.
In short, enjoy readmattbloom.com while you still can.
October 4, 2008 at 12:04 am |
This is a hilarious plan. I’ll probably steer clear of the “blue period”. I can’t wait for your slide from slack-stick into political drama. The two seem so similar it a wonder other writers haven’t followed that path.